They’re everywhere. Those pesky messages bombarding us about how we women over 60 are supposed to dress, act and live our lives. But who, exactly, made these rules, and why should they apply to every — or even any — woman? Can’t we be the person who makes that decision for ourselves? I say we can. Let’s look at some of the misguided things dictated to us that we should ignore.
Hair stories
If you go gray, you’ll add 10 years to your age. If you don’t go gray, you’re not being natural. If you color your hair, you’ll look younger. Every woman should cut her hair to look like an adult.
Can’t we somehow cure the coiffure battles?
Take my older sister, who had black hair that she let go white, growing it to her waist. She looks ethereal now, and people stop her on the street to tell her so. She practically bounces with confidence. Then take Cher, who, while totally supportive of any woman who wants to stop coloring her hair, has said that going gray isn’t for her, that she feels best with the same hair she had in her teens.
Want a gorgeous long fall of white hair? Go for it. Want to cut it an inch all over your head? Great. Want to dye your hair pink or blue or black? My mother-in-law, who died at 101, kept her bright orange beehive and dressed up every day in the loud silky prints she loved. Who was anyone to tell her not to when she got such joy out of it?
Do what makes you feel good. Even if you are the only woman doing it.
Sports
Be careful! Don’t strain muscles or break bones or give yourself a heart attack. Bah humbug, says Alicia I. Arbaje, assistant professor of geriatrics and gerontology at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore. You can still build muscle and strength no matter what your age. Decline isn’t inevitable. Want to know why? There are women in their 80s and even 90s running marathons or becoming bodybuilders. Things older women worry about, like loss of balance and falls, are actually — and often — caused by inactivity and not age at all.
Exercise boosts memory and helps prevent dementia. Being inactive is also worse for both your heart and your joints. Yes, check with your doctor. Yep, start slow. But if you think you can’t be the odd woman out in a gym full of gorgeous young people in spandex, think again. You can be the inspiring older person, an example for them to follow. Don’t want to go to the gym? Bring the gym home. I have both a rebounder and a stationary bike at home, and every time I use them, I feel stronger, calmer, and I know I’m doing something good for both my body and my mind.